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Resolving for a New Year

Posted by RB Kollannur on April 4, 2010


Last year had been one of disappointment. It started off well, getting back on to the “employed” category, after almost a year in the job trail. I had taken a break from work, a year earlier, having walked out off my job citing my employers’ lack of discipline and accountability. Now with a new management and most of the earlier management on their way out (and I am told for their lack of discipline and accountability), I was curious to know how the company had changed. Getting my old job back did not prove to be a problem (despite the fact that I had written one of those exit emails that you can frame and immortalize), since the company struggled to replace me.

But getting back to work led to a huge trough.

It was the break from work that changed a few of my life priorities. Earlier, I was just moving with the flow, going where life took me. It is then I realized there is more that I can do with my life than ruminating away in some office for the rest of my life. Even in my earlier job, despite the fast-track growth path the company had placed me in; it was still too slow for me. There was always a sense of wasting away my potential at work. With no job to hinder me, I was able to search out what I wanted to do and go ahead with it. So, I spend my break developing my writing, brushing up on history and chasing the stuff my dreams are made of (Okay, the last one was a bit of a stretch). Of course, I was not looking to earn anything out of this, since that was not the point anyway.

And I liked it.

Unfortunately, it was not a long term option, because I did have to start earning eventually, especially with a hefty education loan to pay off. So, I got back to work. The intent was to do both – Go ahead with my life and carry on with my job.

That, unfortunately, never got realized.

My writing dropped as I managed to write only one post the past year. The job took too much of my time that I rarely got much time to share beer with friends (Not that I drink, but you got the point anyway). There were some good times, with a bit of travelling around the country in November meeting old friends and making new. Not to mention the long hours I lost in the pages of the many books I read the past year, but it was a bit of struggle in getting my job to yield me that free time. The only high point of my last year of “employment” was a visit to Manila (My first foreign trip since I was 4) for a week, which I truly enjoyed, but that was just an exception. Otherwise, the job mirrored my first year with the same company with nothing much to write home about. And I am as broke as I was before I took up the job.

So, here I am another year later with another throw of the dice. Another resignation, not like the last time though. The new management has cleaned the system, but are now faced with a more serious question of the long term sustainability of the company.

Back on the job trail yet again, moving on from the last year and into the new.

Why do I do it?
Because I choose life – my life.

And in case you are looking for new year resolutions, I’ll settle for two more –

1) Not to buy any book till I read the 37 unread books I own currently (shown below)

2) Run 100 metres in less than 13 seconds (Personal Best is 11.7 seconds set in 1999 during my heydays as an athlete in school)

Author’s Note:  I do understand today does not signify a new year on the Gregorian calendar (Although it is probable that some tribes in remotest corners of the Amazon rainforest or the Siberian wastelands may have their new year now), but I prefer to borrow Arthur C Clarke’s logic on location of equator – Beginning of the year is an arbitrary point in time decided by humans and I decide to choose now as the beginning of a new year.

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