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An Obituary For My Disjointed Laptop

Posted by RB Kollannur on September 26, 2008

It’s finally happened. My disjointed laptop has finally met its maker, at least its maker’s service center. After one year of unhinging service, my laptop finally encountered the Blue Screen of Death. I should have realized the end was near. The signs were all there (No, not the movie). The Mark was always on the wall, ever since Euro came around. It was inevitable that the machine will finally meet Doom or Doom II or Doom 4 or any of the other dooms (even Doctor Doom, if you may). Okay, back to the point.

It was never the big star. Compared to Eta Carinae, it was not even a star. It barely scraped through the cut throat market, mainly thanks to its lack of throat, guts and other human body parts (Though a bacterium or a dust mite might have hitched a ride). It had a timid 40GB memory, 256 MB RAM and an Intel Celeron to boost its power. But, it was a loyal fellow, always came through in the end (because it took so long to process anything).

First the hinges came off (I meant that in the literal sense) after an year of servitude (Too late for warranty, boo hoo). Fortunately, three encyclopedias, which the former tenants had left behind, came to the rescue. But with its mobility compromised, the good old days would soon end. From there on, it was all downhill. Its relationship with WiFi came to an abrupt end. Only with close physical intimacy could the fidelity (Wireless Fidelity, I mean) be restored*. But the estranged relationship soon broke its heart (the battery, which pumps the juice to the system). Its strength dwindled everyday and soon it needed a defibrillator (any source of electricity did just as nicely) to last beyond fifteen minutes.

But, that was all an year ago. It lasted over an year without its hinges and the malfunctioning battery. It had to be plugged into a life support system (namely, an electric socket) for most its remaining life, but as time went on a sense of stability set in. Having lasted such an ordeal for so long a time, one would wish there was hope it may still live long. I finally bought a really long lan cord (which kept tripping my roommates), to give it some sense of mobility.

But it turned out to be just another mirage waiting to scourge the thirsty desert traveler. A freak accident broke its spine. Right when it was all smiles and functioning in all glory, an accidental hand (mine) tipped the fragile sense of stability, the system had achieved after such a long struggle **. It lost the utility of its spine. The nerve connecting the monitor and the processor was almost severed. The accident left the laptop devastated. The laptop was left disoriented; at least the monitor was, as you can see below. The laptop lost its screen and the monitor left counting the pixels. Wrecked and dysfunctional, with the chimes of the pendulum (from the Edgar Allan Poe novel) reminding of impending doom, the laptop became reclusive was left in its shell (the laptop bag) ***. The final hour arrived bringing with it a gust of sadness. The laptop had to be taken to its maker’s service center for its final rites.

Let us share a moment’s silence in memory of the disjointed laptop.

* Meaning WiFi worked only when the laptop was next to the WiFi router. What were you thinking?

** The monitor fell on the keyboard.

*** Since I couldn’t use it, might as well as pack it.


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